This is going to sound ridiculous... i know... I'm sort of silly and childish and idealistic and romantic. And this post is getting ready to prove it. This post is partially an attempt of me explaining that in the last two weeks or so I have decided to just accept and actually enjoy these parts of my personality.
For random reasons, and lots and lots of Glee episodes, I've found this strange empowerment and self acceptance. Sure there are plenty of things that I don't like about myself, but I'm realizing that a good number of them are really based on feeling like I am not good enough. Mostly due to not feeling like other people like me. You know, when someone who shouldn't, says something attacking or just mean. And perhaps hides it in a pseudo compliment.
Um, I'm done letting my feelings get hurt.
When you say something mean it is really more about your insecurity than it is about me.
Last night I watched the Madonna episode and the Beautiful episode and I was tearing up. Seriously? Ridiculous, I know. But I had a couple major big epiphanies about my goofiness and my breast size. You know what? I really do like myself. (I still hate my giant thighs.) But the other ridiculous qualities are all just me. I'm 34 and this is me. If I only feel the need to prove myself to myself (and my beautiful children) then I'm suddenly free to be happy. And I am happy! I'm getting paid (occasionally) to create art. I'm learning how to play the guitar. I spend my whole day with the cutest kids ever. I'm fit and healthy and loving. I finally think I get it! I get it!!!! I will thus forth quit begging for your approval and love.