My Village

For numerous reasons, I'm feeling a need to do a little series called, "It takes a village...". This saying originated in the Nigerian Igbo culture.  They have a proverb "Ora na azu nwa" which means it takes the community/village to raise a child. This is about my village.  There is no particular order.   Some of you I see almost everyday and some of you I haven't seen for years (you know who you are).  Thanks for making me who I am, loving me despite my numerous flaws, helping me be more self-accepting, and inspiring me to be a better person.  

Mom-

She isn't the oldest daughter in her family, but for many reasons she took on that responsibility.  Her older sister, Linda, died of cancer when she was young.  My mother is strong willed and opinionated (which I occasionally give her a hard time for), but has gotten her much farther in life than I think she ever expected.  As far as her family goes, she is the rock, she has at one time or another supported almost every sibling both emotionally and financially.  She pretty much single handily took care of her parents when they got to be too sick to care for themselves.  I especially remember her care for my grandmother Margaret.  Margaret had Alzheimer's and needed increasing care.  There were lots of debates about what was best between mom and her siblings, but in the end Mom was really the only one willing to step up to the plate and do the hard work.  Taking care of her mom was exhausting and in many ways thankless.  Not to mention how sad it would be to watch your mother's health literally deteriorate before your eyes.

 For my sister and I, my mom has always been a source of strength.  We don't always agree on what is the best way to raise our children and from time to time this is a source of great distress for mom, but I know that she has always thoughtfully done what she thought was the absolute best for us.   And likewise gives us her best advise for our children. 

Sometimes, I give her a hard time about seeing the glass half empty instead of half full, but I still know that it comes from genuine concern for the people she loves. I've been pretty wrapped up in my own life for the past little while and she sends me texts asking why I never call my mother anymore.  Although I don't call her as often as I used to, I think of her everyday when I'm doing something demanding as a mom or wonder what mom would do in the same situation.   She is an amazing example of a supportive sibling, selfless mom and wive, and loyal, caring child.