Here's my motivation

This is my goal. LOL

A typical Wednesday

I find myself stressing about how to justify a homeschool day. Seriously, people look at you like you are crazy and/or something is wrong with your child. And I find myself trying to prove our "homeschool" worth in my head. Did we spend enough time today doing...? or did we play way too much today? I think if I had planned to homeschool I would be better prepared for my perfectionism and need to do "it" better. But last Wednesday was a awesome day where we pushed the day's lesson plans aside and improvised.

We played with blocks for 90 minutes. We discussed balance and base and architecture.

I honestly have never seen Zachary beam so much with pride.

According to Zachary, this is a "Robot Roar". He pointed out the 3 heads.

Then we did some chores. They gather all their dirty laundry. And play in it.

Zachary is "Batman" and Nathan is a "Dirty Spider".

We did read and discuss a book over breakfast, work on site words, and practice a little math.

in my spare time

I have been known to spend hours online researching exercises. Why? Well It's kinda fun. And I don't have the patience to deal with my children at a real gym so I workout at home. In an effort to keep it all interesting, I'm constantly coming up with something different. The basic structure is always the same, intervals of resistance and cardio.

I think I'm on the cusp of something new. Lol.

I borrowed the physique 57 DVDs from a friend a while back. I really liked them. The first few times I completed them I was super sore. And in a matter of a couple of weeks (3 times a week) I could actually see a change in my body. However, I missed the intervals of cardio. I am a firm believer that short, high intensity cardio intervals beats the pants off long sustained cardio. I have been able to find plenty of articles from experts to back up that claim.

Additionally...

I've also been working out with my sweet friend Amy. She can't run on a treadmill for medical reasons (ie knee replacement). So we started doing something similar to step aerobics for the the cardio intervals. Like jumping jacks, high knees, and any other silly move we can think of to keep us busy for 2 minutes. It's totally fun! And effective!

So tonight I have spent the last 90 minutes trying to find a good way to combine the physique 57 and silly aerobics. I think I've come up with a plan that will work. I'm going to commit to it for a least the next month (unless Amy protests) and see if it makes me long and lean. And smiley!!!!

Clean out the cupboards

I'm pretty good with food. No real issues. Due to tummy problems, I maintain a fairly low carb diet. It doesn't cause me to lose weight really, but it makes it easy enough to maintain my current weight.

I really do like cooking. Although I know very little, I'm not afraid to experiment. 9 of 10 meals end with happy bellies.

My family will eat just about anything and they are always sweet and appreciative of a home cooked meal. Also, Nathan really loves to help in the kitchen. So I've decided to challenge myself. For the next, 30 days I will prepare a Clean Eating recipe for dinner at least 5 days a week.

Glee therapy

This is going to sound ridiculous... i know... I'm sort of silly and childish and idealistic and romantic. And this post is getting ready to prove it. This post is partially an attempt of me explaining that in the last two weeks or so I have decided to just accept and actually enjoy these parts of my personality.

For random reasons, and lots and lots of Glee episodes, I've found this strange empowerment and self acceptance. Sure there are plenty of things that I don't like about myself, but I'm realizing that a good number of them are really based on feeling like I am not good enough. Mostly due to not feeling like other people like me. You know, when someone who shouldn't, says something attacking or just mean. And perhaps hides it in a pseudo compliment.

Um, I'm done letting my feelings get hurt.

When you say something mean it is really more about your insecurity than it is about me.

Last night I watched the Madonna episode and the Beautiful episode and I was tearing up. Seriously? Ridiculous, I know. But I had a couple major big epiphanies about my goofiness and my breast size. You know what? I really do like myself. (I still hate my giant thighs.) But the other ridiculous qualities are all just me. I'm 34 and this is me. If I only feel the need to prove myself to myself (and my beautiful children) then I'm suddenly free to be happy. And I am happy! I'm getting paid (occasionally) to create art. I'm learning how to play the guitar. I spend my whole day with the cutest kids ever. I'm fit and healthy and loving. I finally think I get it! I get it!!!! I will thus forth quit begging for your approval and love.

Adjust Your Sails

This morning my thoughts are on the ocean somewhere. SAILING.

I am the boat. The breeze, which is relatively strong today, is blowing me where it wants me to go.

I am the boat. I have no control of the wind. Its shifty nature. It's howling at times and blowing and lifting me right in the exact direction I wish to go. Then it suddenly changes and makes it very hard or impossible to maintain my heading.

I am the boat. I have a few passengers to carry safety along this journey. I hope that the direction I choose is the right direction for my passengers too.

I am the boat. Heading straight into the wind is impossible. There is no way to capture the wind and power my sails. I must adjust and sail slightly off course for a while and then tack again.

I am the boat. I cannot change wind. I cannot influence the wind. I cannot control the wind.

I am the boat. I can adjust my sails. I can change my course. I can embrace the way the wind blows me. I can keep safe my passengers. I can teach them how to feel the sun and breeze and ocean spray as we sail. I can teach them to hear the water and sing with the sea birds and look for ocean creatures. I can help them paint the colors of the sunrises and sunsets. I can anchor in safe harbors, now and again, and play with them in the sand.

I am the boat. I can smile, laugh, and enjoy the sail.

I am the boat.

E chords

I started 2011 on January 12th. I've been very successful in sticking to my new years resolutions for the last 4 days. :) I ran 6ish miles today. On the treadmill, at a snail's pace, but I did it. I was glad to be done, but I wasn't even close to max exhaustion. Maybe a 7 out of 10. Good news! Perhaps I won't have to walk at all in February at the 1/4 marathon Angela talked me into. But I do like running inside where it is warm. Plus watching old episodes of GLEE (perfect running program btw). And Tulsa will be cold in Feb. Gulp!

I also dusted (literally) my guitar off this morning. And with the help of Garage Band I got it tuned and even practiced a basic E chord and strumming. It is really fun and addictive. Even though my fingertips hurt so bad. I just keep stealing away 5-10 minutes to practice some more. I really really want to stick with it. So do me a favor and ask me frequently how it's going.

In the last couple days, I've also reminded myself that it isn't always about me. So if someone I love dearly is grumpy, it doesn't mean you did something wrong. Let it go! I have a tendency to want to please people. This doesn't always work and can definitely put a damper on my joy. So I'm learning again (always) to just be happy, loving, and supportive. If someone is having a bad day or month, don't absorb it for yourself. Let your joy spread!

Today I feel joyful!