CULTIVATE GRATITUDE

New Blog

2011-08-22T19:29:00.000-07:00

http://guzundenschniffel.blogspot.com/

Under Construction

2011-08-19T07:06:00.000-07:00

I'm redoing my blog. New blog will include our homeschooling adventure and my art hobby as well as daily life. Busy Busy Busy!

For the Love of the ARts

2011-05-22T15:42:00.000-07:00

I wish for a lot of things. I regret a few. I regret not pursuing my love of art when I was younger. I hope that the last 3 years at the Wichita Center for the Arts has taught Nathan to use art as an escape and expression of himself. I hope that if he finds a deep desire later in life to be artistic he has the confidence and self-freedom to do so. Thanks to Ms. Crystal and Ms. Shannon for loving my boy.

Nathan's Final Gallery Show

family friends

2011-05-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

We went out for a spontaneous sail last week with our family friends the Williams. It was so perfect! So relaxing and Fun! Can't wait to go again.

My Beautiful Spring Boys

2011-04-21T14:16:00.000-07:00

I took the boys outside this morning for five minutes and got all these great Spring pictures. I love my camera.

An afternoon on the boat

2011-04-15T21:22:00.000-07:00

Eric was off yesterday so we headed to the lake to show the boys the new boat. Eric went out early to get her ready for a sail. We quickly decided that 25-35 MPH winds were way too strong to even attempt to sail. So we just hung out. Then went to the lake playground. We had a great time.

Hoofing It

2011-04-14T14:47:00.001-07:00

On Thursday afternoons we have the most awesome opportunity ever. Nathan gets to spend 30 minutes riding his favorite horse, Ittles. Even better, is that he gets to do it with Holly, his very first friend. Here are a few pictures and further evidence of why we homeschool.

All smiles

2011-04-11T17:54:00.000-07:00

We got a new play set for the backyard. It's pretty awesome.

Zenschooling

2011-03-23T07:12:00.000-07:00

Swim School
Zachy too!
Counting Money
Exploring gases
Volcanoes, Islands, and skip Counting
Sequencing, Reading, Following Directions, Cooking
It made ice cream!
Discovering how Volcanoes can create new land.
Sorting Jellybeans, Counting by 2
Making a bar graph to understand Jellybean data.

I've been reading a new book. Very interesting approach about a Buddhist who home schools. It's really all about finding balance and peace with how we are doing right now. It's Enlightening!

I have all but officially decided to continue this journey for one more year (1st grade). I have promised by old principal at Cottonwood that I would come check out what she can offer Nathan for 1st grade. My secret dream is to be living on a boat and homeschooling while we explore the world of nature. :) I will keep you all posted.

Just a thought about Happiness

2011-03-15T09:58:00.000-07:00

I found this website...

There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics. That’s why a good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.

Here I’d like to share what I learned with you. Without further ado, here are 17 timeless secrets of happy people:

1. Forget the past

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. Rita Mae Brown

You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, you should let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.

2. Take responsibility for your life

The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage. Thucydides

To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People can annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent.

But, as the quote above says, freedom takes courage. Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and you have the power to choose.

3. Build relationships

Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way. Unknown

Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.

4. Develop multiple passions

The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy. Charlotte-Catherine

Passions lead you to happiness. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should alsoexpand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.

The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.

5. Build your character

Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character. George Santayana

Building your character is essential for happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.

The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them. For example, you make promise to yourself that you won’t smoke. When you keep it, you are building your character. Or you make promise to others to be punctual. When you keep it, you build your character.

6. Be who you are

The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is. Desiderius Erasmus

You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.

7. Live your life purpose

The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose. William Cowper

To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what matters to youand build the courage to follow it. Having a one-liner will help you internalize and communicate your mission.

8. Count your blessings

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have. Unknown

Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy. You may start with these simple things.

9. Have positive mind

It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable. Roger L’Estrange

Happy people know how to control their mind. They don’t let negative thoughts come in. While a situation may seem bad to others, happy people look at them in a positive way. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it. Your mind can make or break you, so guard it well.

10. Work creatively

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort. Franklin D. Roosevelt

When you work creatively on something you will find happiness. There is a well-known phenomenon regarding this called flow. When you are in the state of flow, you are fully focused on the task at hand that you no longer realize the passage of time. This state of flow allows you to achieve high productivity and being happy at the same time. Here are some tips to achieve it.

11. Start with what you have

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet. James Oppenheim

Happy people don’t need something they don’t have to be happy. They don’t need certain job or certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of contentment. Be content with what you have and you will be happy.

12. Change

They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. Confucius

Being happy requires you to constantly grow. In fact, the process of learning itself is essential for happiness. Have you ever felt the excitement of being enlightened about something? Have you ever felt the excitement of achieving a new level in life? Top 10 Things You Should Change in Your Life gives you some practical tips on changing your life.

13. Use your talents

True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents. Douglas Pagels

There are two lessons to take from this quote. First, you should find your talents and second, you should use them to the fullest. Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do. Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.

14. Beware of small things

The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things. Ernest Dimnet

This is very true. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps you don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.

15. Distill your ambitions

Where ambition ends happiness begins. Author Unknown

While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed by it is not. Do your best to improve yourself but don’t be obsessed by it.

16. Make others happy

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself. Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is my favorite secret of happiness. The way to being happy is to make others happy first. The more you help other people and make them happy, the more you will be happy. Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. You reap what you sow.

17. Practice compassion

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. The Dalai Lama

Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly says, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy.

But of course, it requires practice. Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.

***

All in all, this quote by Aristotle can summarize the lessons above:

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

Here's my motivation

2011-03-02T17:11:00.000-08:00

This is my goal. LOL

A typical Wednesday

2011-02-22T21:02:00.000-08:00

I find myself stressing about how to justify a homeschool day. Seriously, people look at you like you are crazy and/or something is wrong with your child. And I find myself trying to prove our "homeschool" worth in my head. Did we spend enough time today doing...? or did we play way too much today? I think if I had planned to homeschool I would be better prepared for my perfectionism and need to do "it" better. But last Wednesday was a awesome day where we pushed the day's lesson plans aside and improvised.

We played with blocks for 90 minutes. We discussed balance and base and architecture.

I honestly have never seen Zachary beam so much with pride.

According to Zachary, this is a "Robot Roar". He pointed out the 3 heads.

Then we did some chores. They gather all their dirty laundry. And play in it.

Zachary is "Batman" and Nathan is a "Dirty Spider".

We did read and discuss a book over breakfast, work on site words, and practice a little math.

in my spare time

2011-02-15T19:40:00.000-08:00

I have been known to spend hours online researching exercises. Why? Well It's kinda fun. And I don't have the patience to deal with my children at a real gym so I workout at home. In an effort to keep it all interesting, I'm constantly coming up with something different. The basic structure is always the same, intervals of resistance and cardio.

I think I'm on the cusp of something new. Lol.

I borrowed the physique 57 DVDs from a friend a while back. I really liked them. The first few times I completed them I was super sore. And in a matter of a couple of weeks (3 times a week) I could actually see a change in my body. However, I missed the intervals of cardio. I am a firm believer that short, high intensity cardio intervals beats the pants off long sustained cardio. I have been able to find plenty of articles from experts to back up that claim.

Additionally...

I've also been working out with my sweet friend Amy. She can't run on a treadmill for medical reasons (ie knee replacement). So we started doing something similar to step aerobics for the the cardio intervals. Like jumping jacks, high knees, and any other silly move we can think of to keep us busy for 2 minutes. It's totally fun! And effective!

So tonight I have spent the last 90 minutes trying to find a good way to combine the physique 57 and silly aerobics. I think I've come up with a plan that will work. I'm going to commit to it for a least the next month (unless Amy protests) and see if it makes me long and lean. And smiley!!!!

Clean out the cupboards

2011-02-03T14:19:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty good with food. No real issues. Due to tummy problems, I maintain a fairly low carb diet. It doesn't cause me to lose weight really, but it makes it easy enough to maintain my current weight.

I really do like cooking. Although I know very little, I'm not afraid to experiment. 9 of 10 meals end with happy bellies.

My family will eat just about anything and they are always sweet and appreciative of a home cooked meal. Also, Nathan really loves to help in the kitchen. So I've decided to challenge myself. For the next, 30 days I will prepare a Clean Eating recipe for dinner at least 5 days a week.

Glee therapy

2011-01-25T17:17:00.000-08:00

This is going to sound ridiculous... i know... I'm sort of silly and childish and idealistic and romantic. And this post is getting ready to prove it. This post is partially an attempt of me explaining that in the last two weeks or so I have decided to just accept and actually enjoy these parts of my personality.

For random reasons, and lots and lots of Glee episodes, I've found this strange empowerment and self acceptance. Sure there are plenty of things that I don't like about myself, but I'm realizing that a good number of them are really based on feeling like I am not good enough. Mostly due to not feeling like other people like me. You know, when someone who shouldn't, says something attacking or just mean. And perhaps hides it in a pseudo compliment.

Um, I'm done letting my feelings get hurt.

When you say something mean it is really more about your insecurity than it is about me.

Last night I watched the Madonna episode and the Beautiful episode and I was tearing up. Seriously? Ridiculous, I know. But I had a couple major big epiphanies about my goofiness and my breast size. You know what? I really do like myself. (I still hate my giant thighs.) But the other ridiculous qualities are all just me. I'm 34 and this is me. If I only feel the need to prove myself to myself (and my beautiful children) then I'm suddenly free to be happy. And I am happy! I'm getting paid (occasionally) to create art. I'm learning how to play the guitar. I spend my whole day with the cutest kids ever. I'm fit and healthy and loving. I finally think I get it! I get it!!!! I will thus forth quit begging for your approval and love.

Adjust Your Sails

2011-01-19T08:10:00.000-08:00

This morning my thoughts are on the ocean somewhere. SAILING.

I am the boat. The breeze, which is relatively strong today, is blowing me where it wants me to go.

I am the boat. I have no control of the wind. Its shifty nature. It's howling at times and blowing and lifting me right in the exact direction I wish to go. Then it suddenly changes and makes it very hard or impossible to maintain my heading.

I am the boat. I have a few passengers to carry safety along this journey. I hope that the direction I choose is the right direction for my passengers too.

I am the boat. Heading straight into the wind is impossible. There is no way to capture the wind and power my sails. I must adjust and sail slightly off course for a while and then tack again.

I am the boat. I cannot change wind. I cannot influence the wind. I cannot control the wind.

I am the boat. I can adjust my sails. I can change my course. I can embrace the way the wind blows me. I can keep safe my passengers. I can teach them how to feel the sun and breeze and ocean spray as we sail. I can teach them to hear the water and sing with the sea birds and look for ocean creatures. I can help them paint the colors of the sunrises and sunsets. I can anchor in safe harbors, now and again, and play with them in the sand.

I am the boat. I can smile, laugh, and enjoy the sail.

I am the boat.

E chords

2011-01-16T14:39:00.000-08:00

I started 2011 on January 12th. I've been very successful in sticking to my new years resolutions for the last 4 days. :) I ran 6ish miles today. On the treadmill, at a snail's pace, but I did it. I was glad to be done, but I wasn't even close to max exhaustion. Maybe a 7 out of 10. Good news! Perhaps I won't have to walk at all in February at the 1/4 marathon Angela talked me into. But I do like running inside where it is warm. Plus watching old episodes of GLEE (perfect running program btw). And Tulsa will be cold in Feb. Gulp!

I also dusted (literally) my guitar off this morning. And with the help of Garage Band I got it tuned and even practiced a basic E chord and strumming. It is really fun and addictive. Even though my fingertips hurt so bad. I just keep stealing away 5-10 minutes to practice some more. I really really want to stick with it. So do me a favor and ask me frequently how it's going.

In the last couple days, I've also reminded myself that it isn't always about me. So if someone I love dearly is grumpy, it doesn't mean you did something wrong. Let it go! I have a tendency to want to please people. This doesn't always work and can definitely put a damper on my joy. So I'm learning again (always) to just be happy, loving, and supportive. If someone is having a bad day or month, don't absorb it for yourself. Let your joy spread!

Today I feel joyful!

2011 Resolutions- Revised Edition

2011-01-13T18:02:00.000-08:00

I've had a little change of heart. Still Random order.

1. Just be myself, goofy, light hearted, artistic, slightly disorganized, etc.

2. Become a better artist. Website not necessary. It kills my joy.

3. Learn to play guitar. My children can learn Spanish later.

4. Run. Run. Run.

5. Become a confident sailor.

6. Let my natural joy dictate my parenting while reading Parenting with Real Love.

7. Be confident.

8. Love freely.

9. LAUGH AND SMILE MORE!!!

10. Be sassy!!

2011 Resolutions

2011-01-06T09:01:00.000-08:00

Here is my list. Blah Blah Blah. Random Order

1. New Website for my artwork

2. Illustrate the stories I've written or have been given to me by others

3. Submit, submit, submit my stuff to publishing companies

4. Become a Runner again. Good Grief!

5. Become a more confident sailor.

6. Learn Spanish with my children. Rosetta Stone

7. Parent with Real Love

8. LEARN TO BE HAPPY WITH MYSELF

Happy 2011

2011-01-03T10:54:00.001-08:00

Nathan with the "book of money" as he called it. $10 from Grandma Rowena.

Zachary the morning after his first stitches.

Totally zonked on Ketamine shot. See the 3 outside stitches? 1 on the inside as well

Picture I sent to Eric via text to find out if we should head to ER.

My boys with their Great Grandma Rowena.

Zachary hamming it up.

4 generations of Stoners

The year ended with a surprise trip to the ER. I'm thinking 2011 will be memorable. I will get all resolution deep on another blog post.

Homeschool Update

2010-12-29T07:31:00.001-08:00

Comparing
Creating a Native American Sun Shield
Pottery
Making a discipline chart for mom.
Big City Model

It seems crazy that I haven't posted anything since our second week. We are cruising along. He's perfecting his handwriting. Can add and subtract in his head. Is absolutely amazing at sounding out words and spelling them. He has all but 3 of his sight word cards memorized.I've decided to use the Five in a Row (literature based) resources on this website, www.homeschoolshare.com. It does a lot of the work for me. Then I just add to supplement Nathan's specific needs and interests. This week we are studying teeth. It was Nathan's idea, because he has his first adult tooth coming in. Here are a few pictures since week 2.

Santa

2010-12-21T12:21:00.000-08:00

Surprise.

Nathan asked for night vision goggles.

Zachary waiting his turn.

Zachary asked for a truck.

Gallery Show

2010-12-17T07:47:00.000-08:00

Nathan's wonderful Art school has a gallery show at the end of each semester. Here are the pictures from last night.

As I get older...

2010-12-12T18:27:00.001-08:00

I value family get-togethers more and more.

Thanksgiving 2010

Uncle Ben with Zachary

My adopted sister, Tina with

Krista's kids. Jacy and Trey

My sister and her kids

Alia, Jacy, Trey

Tina's daughter Riley

My cousins Bethany and Lauren

Sarah, Britni, and Alia (my niece)

Alia

Sarah's baby Aiden

Tina's son Alex

Tina's daughter Delilah

Nathan with Aiden

My daddy and my mom's brother Jim

NYC

2010-12-09T09:12:00.000-08:00

This post is super late, but C'est La Vie. In November, I got to go experience the big city with my sisters and cousin. We had a great time. Here are a few pictures.

No Doubt

2010-11-08T16:46:00.000-08:00

This morning we stopped by Nathan's school to sign the paperwork that officially withdrew him from Kindergarten. Nathan was in the back seat talking to me about fly traps. As we were pulling into the parking lot, he stopped and said, "What are we doing here at Martin Elementary?" I replied, "I have to go sign a paper." He quickly pleaded, "Please Mommy don't make me go inside." My eyes got teary and I took a deep breath and said, "No baby. You can stay in the car." Nathan replied, "Yay!"

Week 2

2010-11-06T07:04:00.001-07:00

Week 2- Here's what we do each week. We start each morning at breakfast. We do calendar activities, talk about the weather, and then do a read aloud. The boys sit with complete attention and actually eat all their breakfast, which is a first. We read a book at lunch as well. The kids eat so much more. Then we do some fun fine motor experience. It includes a letter focus for Nathan, but also just fun. Like painting with glue and shaving cream. Other days we do a craft or play dough or puzzles.

On Monday morning we go swimming. Tuesday morning is library & park day. Wednesday morning we stay home and play together. Thursday morning we have a early play date and then gymnastics. Friday morning Zachary goes to KDO and Nathan I have a field trip. Tuesday/Thursday while Zachary naps we get a little more focused. We do reading skills, math, science/social studies. I want Nathan to understand numbers and have math sense so we spend a good deal of time talking about patterns and number relationships. For example 11 is 10 +1. That's why it is a 1 and a 1. Nathan has an amazing memory so we spend time on sight words and word parts. Science is experiments and observation. Science and reading are Nathan's favorite things. Nathan reads everyday. He has a little notebook and fancy pen that he writes little notes in all day long. M/W/F afternoons Nathan goes to the art school preschool. He feels really safe and good there. He gets to be the smart one in class. Most afternoons are filled with play dates and cooking and piano lessons and art with mom. We are all so happy!!!!

Moments from Week 1

2010-11-02T15:20:00.000-07:00

Wow! I had no idea, really, how much I would enjoy this. Nathan is loving it. Zachary is loving it. Mommy is loving it. Daddy can easily see what a great decision it was. Our first week honestly went off without a hitch. I was somewhat surprised. We have established a weekly schedule and routine. Here are just a few pictures of things/times that I remembered to snap a shot with my phone.

Week 2- Fall Theme and Pointillism Art

Home School Week One

2010-10-24T19:02:00.000-07:00

I have decided to have an art & science based curriculum. This week we will focus on a Halloween theme. We will sort/count/compare seeds. Talk about plants as living things. We will also check out some pumpkins. We have some really great read aloud books to read and discuss. We will also take a look at Edvard Munch's The Scream. And use it for inspiration for an art project and social studies. We will work on basic phonic blends, sight words, and the numbers 11-20. There will also be a little sprinkle of fun fine motor activities throughout the week.

Laugh out Loud. This is what my head says will happen this week. I will keep you posted.

A really big decision

2010-10-23T12:00:00.000-07:00

The last 9 weeks have been crazy stressful. Kindergarten set a wheel in motion that was really unexpected. It started this summer when I received a notice that Nathan's school wasn't going to offer AM kindergarten this year. I went to talk to the principal, who also happens to be a friend and my former principal. She said very clearly that her half day teacher could not meet Nathan's needs. He would be bored quickly and in trouble. She suggested that I home school kindergarten. She also offered to send us to another elementary school in the district for kindergarten. She didn't know much about the teacher, but thought it might be a good option. We decided to go for it.

Nathan was super excited the first day of school. Wanted to look just right. If you know Nathan you know that is totally out of character. When I picked him up from school he announced, "I hate that place and you can't make me go back." Oh boy, it's going to be a long year.

I read and read and read. I talked to the teacher and my old principal. I decided there would be a period of adjustment. 6 weeks. Everything said, "Give it 6 weeks."

In the meantime, Nathan was having the most defiant, aggressive, emotional behavior ever. Eric and I seriously suspected something truly awful had happened. Nathan was acting crazy. We got the name of a child psychologist and went in for a consult. I spent a little time in the classroom and talked to the teacher.

We were told by the doctor that Nathan was highly intelligent and a perfectionist. He didn't understand that he couldn't spend the time he wanted making his letters look perfectly and finish before the 10 minute timer sounded. We were given coping strategies. Talk to Nathan about not always trying his best. But working on things at a reasonable level. Choosing between being meticulous or quick.

Seriously, overnight, his behavior was back to normal. At home and school. He talked about not caring about finishing the worksheets. Approximately, 5 worksheets per day.

I thought we were going to be able to make it work. Even though I seriously disagreed with the teaching practices and seat work expectation for a 5 year old.

Then, I began to notice Nathan's complete refusal to try anything new. He was hiding the fact that he was reading. He talked about the secret in his head that told him not to even try because he couldn't beat the timer. He started shying away from social situations.

I realized he was still feeling all the same feeling as before, he was just choosing not to show them on the outside. He didn't want to get in trouble.

After meeting with the psychologist again, it became clear to me. That Kindergarten just wasn't mentally healthy for Nathan. And I wasn't willing to risk the long term negative view of himself. We went to his parent/teacher conference and his report card showed us that he has already mastered all of the end-of-year outcomes for kindergarten. She told us he was her highest reader. His work is above expected for a kindergartner. However, he doesn't see it that way. And he just can't handle the ridiculous amount of stress he places on himself to finish before the timer. Almost like he was developing an OCD reaction to the timer. (The doctor mentioned anxiety disorder and OCD tendencies. YIKES!)

We are homeschooling the remainder of the year. At home, we can learn things that he hasn't already mastered. And we can work on being less of a perfectionist and more of a risk taker in a safe way. Nathan has started reading books to me at night. There wasn't time for this in Kindergarten. We will do experiments and have field trips. We will work on handwriting in a way more appropriate for a 5 year old boy. Eric and I have already seen Nathan easing up on himself.

I have no idea what the plans for 1st grade will be. But I will definitely not make any quick decisions.

Here are a few articles that help describe how Nathan sees himself.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/200911/parenting-raise-excellent-not-perfect-children

http://www.suite101.com/content/avoiding-the-risks-of-perfectionism-a68004

Just being Mommy

2010-09-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

Sorry to have nothing fun to report. We've had birthday parties and trips to the fair. I've taken pictures, but my mind is simply consumed with the well being and emotional health of my boys. So blogging isn't really happening right now. Soon Enough!

Headed out to Boston...))

2010-08-11T06:42:00.000-07:00

About 2 years ago, my friend Carrie and I decided to start a training program together. We soon referred to it as Pain Train. Many other friends came for a little while, but in the end it was just the two of us that continued. The changes we've seen in our bodies are amazing. I think we would both state that we are in the best shape of our lives, even after 2 children a piece.

Sometime earlier this year, Carrie convinced me to start running. We added a few days a week of running together to our training schedule. It's just the right combination of competition, encouragement, laughter, and friendship.

Unfortunately, Carrie moved to Boston on Monday. She will be gone for 10+ months. So my devoted training partner is gone. Needless to say, I'm a little concerned about my resolve. If you know Carrie, you know that she never cancels. So I was always held accountable.

However, I devised a plan so we can still train together in spirit. I'm running to Boston and she is running home (figuratively, of course). We printed off the travel route from Wichita to Boston. It's like 1600 miles. Which equals 800 miles a piece. This averages out to 16-20 miles per week for 10 months. We will communicate frequently about where we are on the trip. Who-Ra!!!

My first Art Show

2010-07-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

I went yesterday and put all my current pieces on display at the Bohemian Healing Spa in the Delano District of Wichita. I have spent hours the last week mounting and gluing. It was a lot of work. But now I can relax. Already this morning I have at least 3 new pieces floating around in my mind.

Anyway, all profits will be donated to WASAC to pay for snacks, drinks, and replacement clothes for survivors that come to the hospital for evidence collection. This is a non-profit organization. With the current state of the economy, there is no money for these simple things that make the hospital experience slightly more comfortable.

My stuff will be up for the week and on sale on Friday. Hope to see you there!

5th Birthday Playgroup

2010-06-16T17:50:00.000-07:00

Today we had a little last minute play group to celebrate Nathan's 5th birthday.

Disney 2010 (55 photos), by Julie Price

2010-06-12T20:47:00.001-07:00

Click here to view photos

34th Birthday

2010-05-16T06:11:00.000-07:00

34 is so much better than 24. I know who I am. And I'm not embarrassed or ashamed. I know what's important and I learn from my mistakes. I know what I want and I depend on myself to get it. I've made strong bonds with love. 10 years brings big changes.

Kindergarten Visitation

2010-05-07T21:41:00.000-07:00

My little boy had a 2 hour Kindergarten visitation today. The whole family took him to Cottonwood Elementary. The same elementary school I was teaching at May 2005, just a few weeks before I went into premature labor. There were several friendly familiar faces for me this morning, but I still had a pit in my stomach. No familiar faces for Nathan. He didn't have much to say afterwards except that he had fun. I'm honestly not ready for this milestone.

Art Class

2010-04-25T18:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my last art class. I missed more than %50 due to sick kids, family plans, canceled babysitters, relay runs. I really had so much fun when I got to go. I teased that I needed a beta blocker before class. I dared not let my eyes stray to another student's work. I learned a great deal about value and color. I wish I could go back and retake all the classes I missed.

This is the acrylic I've been working on. Still a long way from finished.

A few of my favorite things...

2010-04-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

These aren't in any particular order. But I needed a little reminder today of just how lucky I am.

Nathan shaking his bottom.

Eric and the boys holding me down to tickle my feet. I'm extremely ticklish and I laugh so hard I lose my breath.

Watching Zachary run.

An unexpected text or email from a friend.

Watching something funny on TV in my bed late at night.

Paint. The smell, the colors, on canvas, on my fingers, on my hands and half way up my arm.

Black coffee early in the morning.

Laughing and sweating with Carrie during a particularly hard workout.

Cooking something healthy for my family.

Going out with friends and just letting go.

Learning to sail through trial and error.

The smell of lavender.

Being outside in the sunshine.

New lip gloss.

Getting my sons out of bed in the morning because are always excited to see me.

Being needed.

Whispers in my ear.

Skin on skin. An embrace, a touch, Eskimo kisses, holding hands ...

Bob Marley on outdoor speakers.

Finding a sunspot on my cozy bed.

Driving fast with the windows down and the music loud.

Making others feel happy.

Special?

2010-03-28T06:21:00.000-07:00

Zach decided to wake up earlier than usual this morning. I have a 7:30 policy. So I turned the monitor down a little and tried to get a little more sleep. He was talking, but not crying.

At 7:35, I hear Nathan crooning, "Mommy my light is green." and Zach screeching. Apparently, I had fallen back to sleep. I opened my bedroom door and Zach is standing just outside his bedroom. He is screaming "Momma, Momma, Momma".

Luckily, I still have the crib tent that went in Nathan's bed shortly after his 2nd birthday. I just have to use it a bit earlier than I planned.

good grief

2010-03-23T10:52:00.000-07:00

I started cleaning out my art spaces. Amazed to find 20 random baskets, 15 frames, and old art from 15 years ago. Like this oil pastel I did in college sometime. Good Grief!

Have less

2010-03-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling the need to purge. I want to live leaner. If I don't love it, I don't want it anymore. I want to clean out closets and drawers and the garage and storage.

Who's with me?

This is what I'm thinking... First, gathering up all the stuff in my house I don't love including decorations I'm over, toys the boys never touch, random under utilized furniture, etc. Second, putting out in my driveway and attempt to sell it to a new home. Somewhere it will all be appreciated. Third, making arrangements for AM Vets to come pick it all up and tow it away. AM Vets will give it to people who need it.

I want to replace quantity with quality. I want to fit all my stuff on a boat and sail for months homeschooling my boys. I want to teach Nathan to better appreciate the things he has. I want to value people, time, and experiences over stuff.

Who wants to have a purge party?

http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2007/10/15/want-to-save-the-environment-buy-less-stuff/

http://www.43things.com/things/view/64621/own-less-stuff

http://www.fool.com/personal-finance/saving/2008/07/24/how-to-want-less-stuff.aspx

hitting the pavement

2010-03-18T18:07:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I got a random text from my friend, Carrie. She was going out on a limb to ask if I wanted to be on her Brew to Brew team. The Brew to Brew is a relay type run from KC to Lawrence, Kansas. Teams of 5 run a total of 44 miles. I was familiar with the run and my initial response was "uggg". Then five minutes later I found myself texting her back WTF. As long as nobody cares how slowly I run my parts, why not.

Two days later, I got on the treadmill and ran for an hour. It wasn't as hard as I imagined it would be, but my body was super sore. Then I had to take two weeks off because the dermatologist removed a scary mole on my back. She said no vigorous exercise until the stitches come out. (I almost waited for the stitches to come out.)

Finally, yesterday, I went running outside for the first time in 2 years. I went for a 4 mile run with Carrie. It was great. My back and legs were really talking to me the last 1/2 mile, but I managed to sprint right at the end. Today, other than the tiniest twinge of pain in my knees I feel fabulous. Looking forward to outside runs on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

Brew to Brew is April 11th. I think I will be ready!

Boat Pictures

2010-02-21T20:48:00.001-08:00

These are pictures of the boat that we bought yesterday. It is a 2000 Hunter 260 sailboat. We will keep it at Lake Cheney. Who's up for a sail?

If I don't answer the phone...

2010-02-20T19:57:00.000-08:00

this is where I will be.

Start Now

2010-02-14T06:42:00.000-08:00

I found two interesting articles regarding interval workouts that I think everyone should read. Basically, you should quit spending so much time at the gym. Work Smarter! It is the middle of February and if you start now, you will be super happy this summer. Who's up for the challenge?

http://www.tmuscle.com/free_online_article/sports_body_training_performance/six_new_tabata_workouts_for_fast_fat_loss

http://www.squidoo.com/cardio-vs-interval-training

Snow Day

2010-02-12T19:00:00.000-08:00

We finally got to play in the snow. No more ear infections.

First Sale

2010-01-28T13:30:00.003-08:00

I sold this today. 8 x 10 Glossy print. Someone bought it as a gift for her friend. Yay!!!

Art Class

2010-01-23T17:05:00.000-08:00

I had my first art class today. I almost hyperventilated while I was waiting for it to start watching all the other students enter the room. Today, the instructor wanted to get a feel of where we were all at so he gave us a black watercolor paint and a paintbrush. Then he handed over a black and white photo he selected out of a book. Go!

During the break I had to take a moment in the restroom to remind myself not to look at anyone else's artwork.

It was fun! And as long as I keep my eyes on my own paper I think I can remain calm and breath.

Julie

PS This is a picture of my first piece.

Etsy Store

2010-01-13T06:22:00.000-08:00

I will have my store up and running with several pieces by Sunday evening. Please check me out!

www.peacockandpeccary.etsy.com

www.peacockandpeccary.blogspot.com

Grandma Rowena

2010-01-10T07:17:00.000-08:00

Grandma Rowena is my Dad's mother. She turned 80 this year.

I love this one

2010-01-08T11:50:00.001-08:00

Spring Willow

Climb On

2010-01-06T16:33:00.000-08:00

Nathan had his first wall climbing class today at the YMCA. He enjoyed it very much. He even cheered me on to reach the top.

Step 4

2010-01-05T07:11:00.000-08:00

Organize

I finally have all my supplies organized and ready to use. Previously I was working on the floor in a giant messy pile of papers and paint and trash. I now have a suitable workspace. I built this desk from a $15 door I found in the basement of a antique shop. The glass topper I ordered is being delivered today.

About Last Night...

2010-01-01T10:56:00.001-08:00

Balls to the Wall- 2010

2010-01-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

The year of the Tiger. I am super optimistic for the New Year. I am ready for adventure and excitement and learning. I'm sure there will be plenty of struggles, but I will approach them with a new attitude. I'm not super big on resolutions, but I do have a few plans for this year.

#1- Do something with my Art. Submissions, Sales, and Improvement

#2- Get as physically strong as I can be.

#3- Sail. As much and as often as possible.

#4- Enjoy everyday as if it is my last.

Happy New Year Friends!!!!

one last resolution...

Keep my car cleaner. Yikes!

Christmas

2009-12-31T06:31:00.000-08:00

We had a quiet Christmas at home. Eric was on call all weekend so family was suppose to come see us. The crazy snow/ice storm that hit Oklahoma changed those plans. I enjoyed very much waking with my boys and watching them enjoy the morning. In true The Christmas Story fashion we even had Chinese food for dinner. Happy Memories!

PS. I will put them in matching jammies for Christmas morning until one or the other refuse.

Happy Birthday, Eric.

2009-12-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

I feel so lucky to spend your 35th birthday with you. You are an amazing man and father. The boys and I are so proud and grateful. We love you very very very much. Happy Birthday!

Step 3

2009-12-22T22:02:00.001-08:00

Create website.

Step 2

2009-12-20T15:00:00.000-08:00

Watermedia and acrylics are well suited for the painter who desires a shorter drying time and a quicker working style than can be obtained with oils. Discover the basics of acrylics, watercolor, and watercolor pencils to broaden your horizons in the use of watermedia for painting. Acrylics can be used to create various effects including watercolor-like washes, layering, transparent glazes, and heavy impasto. Through demonstrations, you will learn the techniques and tricks necessary to make your opaque works come to life. This class includes open studio on Fridays from 2:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Studio 2

Step 1

2009-12-19T05:52:00.001-08:00

Step number one is create a etsy store and a portfolio.

www.peacockandpeccary.etsy.com

Here

2009-12-15T06:46:00.000-08:00

It's 10 degrees this morning in Wichita. This is not where I want to be. I want to be out in the ocean. With the sun on my face.

Sailing takes me away

2009-12-11T20:46:00.000-08:00

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-- Mark Twain

7 days in San Diego Bay.

Sleeping on a boat.

Without a heater or hair brush.

Studying for hours for a test that matters only to us.

Romantic moments wearing a headlight on my forehead.

Public restrooms and showers.

Numerous fish tacos.

Hours spent walking hand in hand.

dolphins, sea lions

Sun Rise, high tide

Manners Monsters

2009-12-09T18:47:00.000-08:00

Angela asked for Monsters for her playroom. I couldn't picture in my head what I wanted to do. Then one day I picked up a scrap of paper I had used for another piece of art and was inspired. Here's my interpretation of Manners Monsters. I like that they are a little off the wall. and super super silly. Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder. :)

Gobble Gobble

2009-12-08T17:24:00.000-08:00

So this post is a bit late, but...

We enjoyed the holiday in Tulsa with our families. I am thankful each day for the opportunity to love. I have so many blessings.

Coming Soon???

2009-11-17T06:33:00.000-08:00

I've decided to go out on a limb. I love painting. Almost all of my girlfriend's children's room are decorated with a few of my pieces. There are 4 rooms in my own house that have my stuff on the walls. I loved art in high school, but for self-esteem issues I was too afraid to pursue art in college. Right now, I am privileged with the financial freedom to give it a little time and attention. When both boys are in school I will get a real job, but for now I'm going to see what happens. Mostly just for fun. (I have at least 10 current ideas floating around in my head.) But also to have an excuse to cultivate a hobby that truly feeds my soul.

Here's a Preview. Not the best photos ever :) But you get the picture. I have a few more pieces, but don't have pics of them for some reason.

The Peacock & the Peccary-

Make a Smilebox slideshow

What a Face?

2009-11-01T17:26:00.001-08:00

Smell My Feet

2009-10-31T18:30:00.000-07:00

Halloween is my favorite. Today was perfect! Thanks Arnetts for hosting again this year.

flying to Earth

2009-10-29T18:38:00.000-07:00

It's official! I made my first custom Halloween costume.

About a month ago, Nathan and I were discussing the brightly colored Fall trees on the way home from preschool. I said we need to start thinking about what you want to be for Halloween. He quickly replied that he wanted to be a snowflake because he was ready for snow. I said okay. I asked again several times over the next week or so and the answer was always the same. So I got creative.

We went to the fabric store and Nathan picked out fluffy white fabric. I dug my sewing machine out and I started my trial and error. A couple weeks later we made a family trip to the Halloween store to find costumes for Mom and Dad. We found the coolest aviator goggles. We decided to incorporate them into the snowflake costume. The design continued to evolve. Now it is complete with an aviator hat and scarf. Nathan is a snowflake flying to Earth. I think it is the best costume ever!!!

One on One

2009-10-13T20:49:00.000-07:00

Nathan loves to cook. I love to cook as well. But I especially like to cook with Nathan. Today we made lasagna. He is an expert egg breaker. Today, he mastered peeling garlic. Afterwards, we washed the dishes together. I washed and he rinsed. It was a perfect afternoon.

Car Ride

2009-10-06T06:04:00.000-07:00

Don't let this 30 second video fool you. Zachary is not fun in the car.

Once a teacher...

2009-09-22T17:49:00.000-07:00

Teachers of small children all know the power of the stamp. Kids loves stamps and stickers! I also know that kids love and need order and schedules. They want to know what to expect in a day and they what to know what is expected of them. The other thing smaller children really like is the feeling that they are capable and needed. If you combine these things, and you're a former teacher, you spend about an hour coming up with a behavior chart complete with picture icons.

Wow! This is the start of our second week with a behavior chart and Nathan loves it! I am once again amazed by the power of the stamp.

Note: He must earn the stamp. That PM listener is a particularly hard stamp to get. I will say that he has got it the last 2 days in a row.

Pina Colada

2009-09-14T17:47:00.000-07:00

Nathan's last words to me tonight as I'm closing the door to his bedroom, "Do you like Pina Colada and getting caught in the rain. If you wait for an hour, if you have half a brain." He even sang it to the right melody. OMG! He is so funny! I'm afraid I'm the only one that understands his wit and sense of humor.

Toddler

2009-09-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

cold turkey

2009-09-06T07:48:00.000-07:00

Zachary is officially off the bottle. We just do cold turkey around here. He didn't even mind. He is choosing to walk about half the time, and is starting to repeat word sounds. I swear it feels like it was just yesterday that I was tearing up every time I hit a bump in the road. How could that have been a year ago?

Happy Birthday, Baby!

2009-08-31T17:06:00.000-07:00

Zachary turned 1 on Saturday. Oh my! How quickly the year has gone. He is starting to walk and babble. Very soon there will be no more bottles and my baby will officially be a toddler. They don't stay little for long enough.

My Love

2009-08-25T19:14:00.000-07:00

I am so lucky to have the very best job in the world. I wake up each morning to 2 of the most amazing people I have ever met. I get to spend the whole day, laughing, learning, teaching, and nurturing. Each night I get the last kisses and snuggles and get to tuck my little ones into their beds to rest so we can start over again the next day. My heart is full and I am speechless.

What is it?

2009-08-17T16:56:00.000-07:00

Hopefulness is somewhat different from optimism in that hope is an emotional state, whereas optimism is a conclusion reached through a deliberate thought pattern that leads to a positive attitude.

I'm not sure if I'm feeling hopeful or optimistic. But I'm ready for the colorful leaves of fall and the cool air. I'm ready for jeans and schedules. I'm ready for whatever comes my way.

Surprises

2009-08-08T16:31:00.001-07:00

I hate surprises. I don't remember the last time I had a good surprise. Last night, around midnight, I was surprised. It was only 8 words, but they mean realization, hope, and possibility.

Perspective

2009-08-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

Humanistic psychology perspective emphasizes the importance of human consciousness, self-awareness, and the capacity to make choices. Humanists believe that we create our way of responding to the world as we go through life. This school places a lot of importance on consciousness and self-awareness.

What did you see first the leaves, the reflections of the trees, or the fish?

Yesterday was my first 12 hour shift as an sexual assault victim advocate. I had one 45 minute phone call around 8 pm. Hanging up the phone I had the thought that it is amazing how much we can truly believe about ourselves, for years, because of someone else's actions. How long is it necessary to hold on to such negative self talk? When do you get to take back the power that someone took away? For the caller on the phone it had been 20 years and she was still in a place of shame and guilt.

At 2 am, I got a call from the hospital that a victim was there. I quickly dressed and headed out. I was talking to myself in the car about staying calm and being a steady hand in the mist of someone else's nightmare. I can't say much about the victim because of confidentiality but I will say that they weren't who you may expect. I was calm, cool, and collected. I offered stuffed animals and blankets and words of encouragement for the family.

When I got home, I was thinking about perspective. Especially, perspective in how we allow others to treat us, and how we allow them to influence how we feel about ourselves. I thought about Power. Who do we give our power to? When do we decide enough is enough and take it back? I thought about resilience. The ability to smile and laugh, and be optimistic and know that it can and will get better.

I learned a lot about myself in those 12 hours.

dot dot dot

2009-08-01T18:37:00.000-07:00

. . .

Strength or Fortitude

2009-07-12T06:47:00.000-07:00

Julie took the Your Tarot Card Reading quiz and the result is Strength or Fortitude

Your Tarot Reading drew the Strength or Fortitude card. This card shows you that you will soon take a new control over the way you handle your life. This self contol will help you bring resolve and reconciliation to your live. You will feel a new found strength inside you after this transitional phase. Optimism, and Generosity will play a important roll.

My village- friends

2009-07-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

I am truly blessed to have the most wonderful friends. I have been leaning hard on them for the past year and they are as strong as ever. Each one has a special gift they give me. I am never alone and I never feel unloved. Last night, they took me out for some me time. We had a blast. I'm going to do individual blogs about each one very soon. I love you guys! You are the best!

child of nature, friend of man

2009-07-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

Songwriters: Corbetta, J; Riordan, D; Phillips, J

Greeen Eyed Lady, lovely lady

Strolling slowly towards the sun

Green eyed lady ocean lady
Soothing every wave that comes

Green eyed lady, passion's lady
dressed in love she lives for life to be

Green eyed lady feels like I never see
Setting suns and lonely lovers free

(Organ solo)
(long instrumental break)

Green eyed lady, windswept lady
moves the night the waves the sand

Green eyed lady ocean lady
child of nature, friend of man

Green eyed lady passions lady
dressed in love she lives for life to be

Green eyed lady feels like I never see
Setting sons and lonely lovers free

July 4th, 2009

2009-07-05T06:13:00.000-07:00

After nap time, we headed to the Daniel's for some July 4th festivities. My camera remained in my purse for the first few hours, whoops. Nathan played in the little pool and sprinkler with all the other boys. It was all boys except for the 3 mommies and a little bitty 11 day old, Lilly. When it started to get close to the time you would expect the sun to go down we headed outside. It was a late night for the boys. I tried to get Zach to sleep in the pack and play, but no dice. After an hour of crying, I gave up. Nathan had a total come apart when we had to leave, but the evening was awesome. I just love to watch my boys, big and little, play and play and play. Seriously, when you send 4 grown man children to the fireworks stand, you should expect a spectacular fireworks display. We still don't know how much the spent.

Brenda

2009-06-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

I have recently reconnected with an old friend from middle and high school. Unfortunately, it began as an email from Sara about the sudden, tragic death of her husband. Brenda was 8 months pregnant at the time. The accident happened less than 1 year ago, but she has a beautiful outlook on life. She is the proud mommy of 3 beautiful boys and she is thriving! Here is a link to a recent, uplifting blog entry.

Father's Day 2009

2009-06-23T06:06:00.000-07:00

My goal for Father's Day was to make Eric feel like the most loved and special daddy ever. Nathan and I picked out the best card that played a sweet little song and allowed Nathan to record a message. He said, "I love you to the moon and back and back and back and back and ..." About 20 backs. We picked out a couple children's books about Daddy and Son. We also picked out a picture frame for a sweet picture of Eric and his boys. On father's day, Eric got to sleep in. Then I mowed the lawn while he watched SpongeBob with Nathan. We went to get some lunch, went to the pool after naps, and finally cooked out for dinner. I made my specially requested chimichurri sauce. It was a great day and Eric said he felt very special.

Ahoy Matey!

2009-06-15T17:40:00.000-07:00

Nathan turned 4 on Saturday. We had a big pirate party in the backyard. I truly hope he made lots of happy memories. His birthday wish when he blew out the candles was, "I wish we could all be friends forever." So sweet! He has come along way, baby!

Alia

2009-06-04T21:01:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I went home to go to my niece Alia's high school graduation. Amazing! I was surprisingly touched while I was sitting there in the stands trying to find her in the group of 1000 kids.

I have always thought that Alia and I were kindred spirits. When she was younger I felt really close to her. I think we share a certain something that I am finding difficult to describe in words now. Anyway, she has hit a few rough patches along the way, but now she is getting ready for the next chapter in her life. She will be attending OU in the fall and has already been accepted to the art school. I'm so jealous! We are going home this weekend to celebrate her accomplishment and share in her optimism for the future.

Congratulations class of 2009!

Time

2009-06-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'm reading this book called, "Curve of Time." A true story of a single mother who spends the summers on a boat with her five children. It is one adventure after another. Anyway, I like the way she talks about time, Standing in the Present, on the highest point of the curve, you can look back and see the Past, or forward and see the future, all in the same instant. Or, if you stand off to one side of this curve, your eye wanders from one to the other without any distinction. I've been thinking a lot about time. Wishing I could somehow capture it or go back and make little changes to it.

Nathan and Zachary are simply perfect right now and time is ticking away. Everyday they are one step closer to not being little anymore. If only I could capture right now in a bottle and save it for as long as a wanted.

I can also look on my past with clear eyes now. I can clearly see the mistakes I made and why I made them and the damage they caused. If only, I could go back and whisper in the ear of my younger self.

The future is a mystery. If I could just stand on the highest point and see glimpses of it, it might be reassuring or perhaps it would be terrifying. It takes loads of courage to begin each new day, to take a risk and make a connection with someone or to give a piece of yourself to someone. It takes courage each day to think about all the trials my boys will face in the future.

Time is so elusive and expansive. Elusive because I have no control over it and expansive because the more time I spend here the more lives I'm involved in and more uncertain and powerful the future becomes.

My Village-

2009-06-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what to call this part of the village. So I will just see what comes.

I'm not a religious person. I always thought there was something off about the church that tries to scare you into believing what they believe or the aspect of religion that says there is only one truth. I really don't think we are here on Earth to conform to some limited expectation.

I do however believe in something bigger than me. Something that binds us all together. Something that we exchange with each other in some way every time we encounter one another. Something that we exchange with nature. I do believe that there is something innately good in people and part of the exchange has to do with finding that goodness. I'm not sure what to call all these things that I feel are true. I do think that religion has given examples of people in history that have understood this exchange and tried to teach the rest of us.

Like I said, I'm not sure what to call it, but I know that when I'm outside, surrounded in silence I feel really close to it. I guess it feels spiritual. This last week I traveled to the Northwest region and felt closer to this energy exchange than I have ever felt. It was almost like I could feel the pulse of the Earth and the spirit of the trees. Maybe I could almost see the soul of the ocean as the sunlight beamed on its ripples.

The people there must also feel closer to it because they are truly mindful of nature. They are organic and clean and easy somehow. I felt like I belonged.

Teresa

2009-05-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

Teresa is my mother-in-law. But she is so much more than that. When it comes to mother-in-laws I hit the jackpot. Teresa is truly the most giving and selfless person I know, period. She loved me right away and has never made me feel like she didn't support me as a person. She doesn't just love me because I married her son. She loves me just because.

She is also my friend. We like to go to flea markets and antique shops together. We have the same political views and discuss them often. We find lots of things to do together that don't involve Eric in anyway. I'm not sure this is something people often say about their in-laws.

Since the birth of Nathan and Zachary, she has gone out of her way to make my life easier when she can. She comes to visit regularly and is happy, or at least appears to be happy, to just take care of the kids and give me a chance to breath. She insists on taking the monitors at night, so I can sleep. She often suggests that I get out of the house alone for a while. After a recent, stressful drive to Tulsa with the boys, I expressed a relief to hand them off to my parents. I suddenly had the feeling that Teresa might take that the wrong way, but she quickly started to laugh and said, "You spend an awful lot of time alone with the boys. That is hard work. It would be weird if you didn't feel the need for a break."

She gets me! She know exactly how my time and thoughts are consumed with doing and being the very best mom I can. I don't take it likely and she knows it.

Neither of her sons have taken it particularly easy on her, but her love for them is unwavering. She gives completely of herself and her love. She never gives a second thought to what she might get in return.

Imagine what the world would be like if this was how we all lived and loved!

My sister

2009-05-20T06:19:00.000-07:00

Krista is 5 years older than me. Growing up I was always a pain. Tagging along trying to be cool, stealing her Duran Duran posters, etc. I often thought the only thing we had in common besides our parents, was that we both played soccer for a while. Except, she was the goalie and very good.

She is relatively short and I'm relatively tall. She looks more like my dad's side of the family and I look more like my mom's. She has always been quiet and not maybe even a bit shy. As you all know, I am neither of these. Krista has a child who graduates from high school this week and I have an infant. I've always felt like we were very different and as we've gotten older I've thought this even more. The way we deal with our children and confrontations and life, but recently my perception of that has changed.

She recently graduated with a degree in Elementary Ed. I have the same degree. Although neither of us actually see classroom teacher as our ultimate career goal. We both have interest in counseling. She would like to work with troubled youth. I would love to do something with Art therapy. Anyway, she calls me from time to time to discuss some grave injustice in the classroom and we can talk about it for a long time. I'm realizing that we see the world and the people in it mostly the same way, we just express our feelings about it differently. Krista often takes the relax and see what happens approach. Allowing people to make choices for themselves. I often feel the need to add my two cents, perhaps implying that I don't think the person is capable of making a decision without my help. It took me a while to figure it out, but I giving my sister's approach a try. So far it seems to be working. Thanks, sis.

P.S. My sister doesn't allow people to take her picture. This is the only pic I could find of her. It was taken hours after the birth of Nathan. She was reading, "What color are your underwear?" to Nathan and I.

My Village- Daddy

2009-05-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my 33rd birthday. I had misplaced my cell phone for a little while in the morning, but when I found it I had 3 happy birthday messages. The first two were very nice, but the third was my daddy. My daddy singing happy birthday from start to finish. He has done this for every birthday I can remember, and it still catches me off guard. Incidentally, he has also sang to Nathan for every birthday. My daddy is the one person on the planet that makes me feel truly loved and lovable. It is so important to feel like you are lovable. Despite all your short comings and mistakes, you are still worthy and deserving of love. This is what my dad has always done for me. His love has always been unconditional. He is a quiet man and he never seems to get too worried about anything. But I love the way he looks at me and my sister and all five of our beautiful children. I will always be a daddy's girl and my dad will always be my greatest symbol of love.

My village- MY BOYS

2009-05-15T08:55:00.000-07:00

Nathan-

Nathan brings humor, imagination, and patience to my village. He taught me patience in the very beginning when he decided to arrive 6 weeks early. I was challenged every day to be patient in knowing that he would get strong and healthy enough to come home. At almost 4 he finds ways to help me practice patience everyday. Mostly I end up laughing at the situation. His humor is my kind of humor. His silly little jokes or how he knows the exact right time to wag his bottom in my face. Listening outside the bathroom door while he is in the tub is always good for a few chuckles. He memorizes almost everything he hears and seems to repeat the most obscure line from a show or advertisement or book at the oddest times. One morning when I went to get him out of bed his first words were, "You're not to smalls to be my meatballs." Funny! and his imagination... for Nathan nothing is what it seems. He makes up new words daily and then uses them in context. He can see something interesting in almost anything he looks at. I can remember being this way as a child and it makes me happy that he has such a great imagination.

Zachary-

Zachary is a little bundle of surprise. He gives me peace and hope. My pregnancy and some of the circumstances surrounding it were miserable. I was quite sure that Zachary was going to be a hellion. I seriously didn't sleep from May to August and my whole body hurt. I cried daily wondering what the heck I had done. But on August 29th everything changed. Zachary is a perfectly peaceful little guy. So content all the time. I was very sure that I had made a huge mistake in having a second child, but now I am so happy that I did. Every time I see him smile I am reminded that things don't always turn out the way we planned, but often they turn out better. He gives me hope that things always get better. And that the hardest times and challenges in life bring about the most rewarding, beautiful outcomes.

I learn so much from these precious boys!

Touch my soul

2009-05-13T13:17:00.000-07:00

I am officially a sun worshiper! Those bright happy rays soak into my skin and touch my soul.

Rooster Dayz

2009-05-10T17:53:00.000-07:00

I went home this weekend to see my nephew Wyatt perform in a middle school musical and my niece Jacy perform at Rooster Days. Zachary spent the day with Nanny and Papa, so Nathan and I could play all day.

My Village

2009-05-05T13:05:00.000-07:00

For numerous reasons, I'm feeling a need to do a little series called, "It takes a village...". This saying originated in the Nigerian Igbo culture. They have a proverb "Ora na azu nwa" which means it takes the community/village to raise a child. This is about my village. There is no particular order. Some of you I see almost everyday and some of you I haven't seen for years (you know who you are). Thanks for making me who I am, loving me despite my numerous flaws, helping me be more self-accepting, and inspiring me to be a better person.

Mom-

She isn't the oldest daughter in her family, but for many reasons she took on that responsibility. Her older sister, Linda, died of cancer when she was young. My mother is strong willed and opinionated (which I occasionally give her a hard time for), but has gotten her much farther in life than I think she ever expected. As far as her family goes, she is the rock, she has at one time or another supported almost every sibling both emotionally and financially. She pretty much single handily took care of her parents when they got to be too sick to care for themselves. I especially remember her care for my grandmother Margaret. Margaret had Alzheimer's and needed increasing care. There were lots of debates about what was best between mom and her siblings, but in the end Mom was really the only one willing to step up to the plate and do the hard work. Taking care of her mom was exhausting and in many ways thankless. Not to mention how sad it would be to watch your mother's health literally deteriorate before your eyes.

For my sister and I, my mom has always been a source of strength. We don't always agree on what is the best way to raise our children and from time to time this is a source of great distress for mom, but I know that she has always thoughtfully done what she thought was the absolute best for us. And likewise gives us her best advise for our children.

Sometimes, I give her a hard time about seeing the glass half empty instead of half full, but I still know that it comes from genuine concern for the people she loves. I've been pretty wrapped up in my own life for the past little while and she sends me texts asking why I never call my mother anymore. Although I don't call her as often as I used to, I think of her everyday when I'm doing something demanding as a mom or wonder what mom would do in the same situation. She is an amazing example of a supportive sibling, selfless mom and wive, and loyal, caring child.

My Hero

2009-05-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

Nathan's class took a field trip to the Fire Station this week. He was such a cool kid! Check out that awesome hair! He answered all the questions before any other child even realized a question had been asked. He gave the fire chief a slogan for fire safety, "Crawl under the smoke and don't Choke." He even got the random Star Wars joke a fire fighter told. I'm so proud!

OMG

2009-04-30T12:33:00.000-07:00

I totally got the swine flu or some kind of awful flu bug from the people at the court house. Curses Karma!